Don't Try This At Home

Thursday evening around four p.m. sitting with my daughter Aoise going over her homework. Hubbie in kitchen. Son, Edward - 7 in bathroom, sounds out a little "oh". That turns into a bigger "oh" with my words during the following five hours which include - "lets try it with pepper", "close the other nostril and blow","calm down everyone", "we'll go to the Louth", "yes, the nice nurse is just putting plasters onto the end of the scissors to be gentle", "they will see it", "get into the car quickly", "I think it is white", "the HB one", "Drogheda here we come", "I'm getting married in the morning" "Audrey Hepburn", "it's not me singing", "five euro per hour to park", "better get better quick", "simpsons are pretending to be funny", "push the door", "Eddie Rocket is indeed here", "can't you do anything for him", "the doctor says it will be ok", "can you get us there now", "nurse, here's his chart that fell down between the bed and the wall", "we need to get there now", "thanks doctor for the referral", "now", "thank the nurse please doctor", "that didn't work doctor", "a hamburger with the happy meal", "I need this COKE", "f...ing roads", "left glasses at home", "yes it's dark because it's winter", "why can't the English teach their children how to speak", "no don't be dissapointed pet, we all do these things, but don't do them again", "no no nose amputation" "yes I ate the buckle of my baby shoe", "look at the traffic", "yes it came out", "Glasnevin", "poo", "scuse me where is Temple Street Children's Hospital", "yes, thanks", "sucse me where is A n E", "I know, these people obviously don't have children", "thank you", "yes doctor", I will hold him on my knee and keep my arms around him", "the lovely nurse will hold your head", "listen to the doctor", "think of the sleepover", "think of the party", "I love you", "you are so brave", "haaahahahahaha", "thank you doctor", "ding dong the the bells are gonna chime", "yes it is a fab tape", "louder really", "yes, it wasn't that bad", "it was a long wire with a hook", "thanks for the hug".

WHERE GOOD IDEAS COME FROM by Steven Johnson

Richard St. John: Secrets of success in 8 words, 3 minutes

Where to write?

Where do you write?

Is it really that important? For most of us writers the decision of writing facing a wall, or looking out a window is the equivilant of wearing odd socks or going naked in public.

Whatever it is we writers obsess about, we mostly make sure that the muse - while we are waiting for him/her to strike, must at least appear in a semi-comforatble and dynamic environment. Or even at the kitchen table.

I am always intersted to find out where fellow writers hone their craft. Some prefer the isolation of a cafe. Another person I know loves writing at 11 p.m. on the dot sitting up in bed. Someone else can write on the back of a scrap of paper on the bus and then transfer it to a script book.

For me it's not so much about the place I write. More about the state of mind I am in at the time. And usually what I'm wearing. That is the odd bit. Mostly I tend to wear brighter colours when freewriting to give me a bit of energy. Don't imagine I look like a clown but I do prefer anything over black. No idea why really.

At the moment I am in the process of cleaning out my office. It has taken me two days already. The reason I am going so slow is I am procrastinating. Having a good rummage in old letters, notebooks and photographs. The need to declutter is very strong this year. The new website for the Write Space will be up and running shortly, and the classes are starting again next week.

Things must be bad - I've even assembled a set of drawer files my brother-in-law gave me for Christmas. And they are also complete with little index cards at the front.

During my digging into the past, I found our old Las Vegas Little Chapel wedding video/letters never sent to friends/year planners with chldren's drawnings on them/old Easter Egg boxes and a jewellery box.Taking a five minute break until I head back into it.

Big dilemna - should I move the desk away from the window and over to the far wall? This will mean less light but more heat. Does it matter at the end of the day?

Who Wrote Where -
Virgina Woolf - said a woman must have "a room of her own."
J.K. Rowling - cafe and flat.
Nathalie Sarraute - cafe, same time and table every morning.
Marcel Proust,wrote from midnight to dawn in a cork-lined room.

Stephen King in his book On Writing -
If possible, there should be no telephone in your writing room, certainly no TV or videogames for you to fool around with. If there's a window, draw the curtains or pull down the shades unless it looks out at a blank wall. For any writer, but for the beginning writer in particular, it's wise to eliminate every possible distraction.

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith: The best place to write is by yourself because writing then becomes an escape from the terrible boredom of your own personality.
("Writing, Typing, and Economics," The Atlantic, March 1978)

But the most sensible response may be Ernest Hemingway's, who said simply, "The best place to write is in your head."

Slitting the infinitives...

I know it may come as something of a shock - but some people have started writing again after the Christmas lull. Our Tuesday night group joins up soon for the Festive Party and thoughts will turn to murder, revolt and possibly love. With various Main Characters showing up, it should be a very interesting night.

So if your brain is slowly coming to, then maybe you might like to take a look - or a very very quick glance at the following. It's about grammer. But everything you ever wanted to know, but were just too scared to ask (out loud in front of the class).

Right, there are 8 parts of speech. They are,verbs, nouns, pronouns, adverbs, adjectives, prepositions, conjunctions, and interjections. OK so far?

Here's a little song to keep in mind (make up the music yourselves).
 

Three little words you often see
Are ARTICLES: a, an, and the.

A NOUN's the name of anything,
As: school or garden, toy, or swing.

ADJECTIVES tell the kind of noun,
As: great, small, pretty, white, or brown.

VERBS tell of something being done:
To read, write, count, sing, jump, or run.

How things are done the ADVERBS tell,
As: slowly, quickly, badly, well.

CONJUNCTIONS join the words together,
As: men and women, wind or weather.

The PREPOSITION stands before
A noun as: in or through a door.

The INTERJECTION shows surprise
As: Oh, how pretty! Ah! how wise!

The whole are called the PARTS of SPEECH,
Which reading, writing, speaking teach.

Check this out!?

It is indeed acceptable practice to sometimes split an infinitive. If infinitive-splitting makes available just the shade of meaning you desire or if avoiding the separation creates a confusing ambiguity or patent artificiality, you are entitled to happily go ahead and split! RICHARD LEDERER

When you catch an adjective, kill it. MARK TWAIN

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. CLIFTON FADIMAN

The adjective is the enemy of the noun. VOLTAIRE

If the noun is good and the verb is strong, you almost never need an adjective. J. ANTHONY LUKAS

Don’t say it was “delightful”. Make us say “delightful” when we’ve read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers “Please will you do my job for me?” C.S. LEWIS

Forward motion in any piece of writing is carried by verbs. Verbs are the action words of the language and the most important. Turn to any passage on any page of a successful novel and notice the high percentage of verbs. Beginning writers always use too many adjectives and adverbs and generally use too many dependent clauses. Count your words and words of verbal force (like that word “force” I just used). WILLIAM SLOANE

Get it?! Good!

Seriously - if you can just do with the noun and the verb, then you are on to a winner. Have a go.

What the Pejorative...

This year, I am aiming to bring things back to basics. As one publisher informed me recently, the simplier the better.

So back to the start in a grammatical way (I know, don't yawn). I thought we'd take a look at
The Pejorative.

Now we've taken a look at it. Let's put it away and instead take a look at this...

PANTSING -  Yes we have often given in to it, but don't know what it is. Think of the time you said 'argh, if only I had a pen on me. That's something I should write down'. Or what about the time you are possibly in Tescos and get inspired in the queue? That person? That mannerism? No? Just me? Don't think so. Most writers are on the job, so to speak, all the time. If they are not thinking writing, they are working towards writing. They revel in the solitariness of it. The cut-off reality and the time-travel affect. Well, maybe if you are that way inclined - you have been pantsing about for years, possibly generations.

Pantsing is a term used to describe writing done with the least amount of pre-writing possible. It's the sheer act of writing, of capturing something ephemeral and turning it into something concrete. Not logically but rather through emotional surrendering to a greater idea. It's what we call giving in to the muse, or a good bottle of wine. It's not to be undervalued either because it leads the suitable agents to say - "I just know it, when I see it." Kinda like knowing when Mr Right is The One.

The blog ends here today with a  little bit of mental encouragement to those of us facing into a New Year with promises of no chocolate, more writing and less coffee. Here goes...

Get pantsing everyone.

Book for this Month - Try Coraline.
"The main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you’re allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But it’s definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it honestly, and tell it as best you can. I'm not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter." Neil Gaiman - the "rock star" of the literary world. Author of Coraline and The Graveyard Book.

Are We There Yet?

Well are we? Slightly afraid to pull back the curtains to see what 2012 has in store.
Just took bone-cracking stretch while watching the sun dance on the grass in the front garden. Not outside in front garden, inside beside lit Christmas Tree.
Calories consumed so far in 2012 - One Crunchie Choc Biscuit.
Rows had so far in 2012 - Over souvenier 12 inch pencil that cannot find its attaching sharpener.
Positive thoughs had so far in 2012 - One - no rain so far.
Exercise taken so far in 2012 - One stretch.
Housework completed so far in 2012 - One cup washed rather limply.
Songs sung so far in 2012 - None, listening to children singing. Katy Perry (argh!).
Negative stories read in newspapers so far in 2012 - One - Patrick Swayse's cancer.
How many items to remove from front room to clean for 2012 - 12 boxes and stuff.
Stuff in front room for 2012 - Tree, large pudding bowl and huge pot. Violin. Two computers. Telescope. Flicker. Two printers. Two cases. Two pot plants. Swim hats. Scuba diving gear. Inflatable life-jacket. Unopened sky lanterns. Box of fruit. Stuff.
Resolutions so far in 2012 - One - to see the glass half full.
Glasses broken so far in 2012 - None.
Dogs walked so far in 2012 - None.
Cups of tea made so far in 2012 - None.
Writing so far in 2012 - 300 words approx.
Unopened selection boxes under tree so far in 2012 - None.
Projected summer holiday plans so far in 2012 - None. (Unlike the children - planning already).
Cups of water drank so far in 2012 - Three.
Anadin so far in 2012 - NONE!!

Wising you all a very creative New Year - Health and Happiness.